L is dating R, who chances, was my friend first. Yes, a needless guess, they were introduced by yours truly.
When I say dating, I mean it, there's no status to their relationship, yet.
Since L is the one I see more often than R, even though we were friends first, she tells me a lot more of the relationship progression than he does.
Background:
1) Both are good looking, I kid you not.
2) L has a regular, 9 to 5 job (sometimes involves a little extra, say 12?)
3) R is working with an airline (needless to say, not your regular hours)
4) R has stated that he wants to be with L and says he is focused on solely her
L has issues with R due to his proximity with women (airline, duh?) and I tend to be uncomfortable with R's words. In my opinion, Trust is indeed important in a relationship, but then again, Respect should not be compromised.
R says that
1) Flirting with the female colleagues is often necessary in order to gain their cooperation during flights
- During the flight flirts, ok.
- After the flight flirst, wtf? What are the odds of you meeting these female colleagues after the flight?
Although I don't like and don't agree with R's view, L has accepted it.
She feels that after R is done with his stint at the airline and gets a regular 9 to 5 job, things will get better and these flirts will no longer occur.
Instead of affirming this thought, R says:
2) After he gets a 9 to 5, he will still maintain contact with these female colleagues constantly
- WTF?
- Why? What could you possibly gain from maintaining contacts with female colleagues from the airline industry, other than the obvious?
(side note: I asked L if he said all female colleagues, or just the few in his clique, but she was unable to confirm this, she didn't pursue the matter)
L says, she's in no position to voice out her dislike of his behaviour since they are in a relationship with no confirmed status (bf/gf).
Also, L says, apart from this thorn with the female colleagues, she likes the rest of him, that he treats her well, acts like a gentleman, etc.
I seriously wouldn't want to be with a guy like R if I were in L's shoes if he doesn't decide to commit and reduce flirtatious and unneeded communication with other non-close female ex-colleagues, and I wouldn't want L to suffer unhappiness and insecurity!
Both are my friends, but I am of the opinion that L ought to sit R down and voice out her concerns.
If she waits till they are in a BGR and he doesn't change when she does voice it out, that would lead to a break up or a silenced party in a relationship, neither of which are emotional healthy choices.
R, you're an idiot. I'd slap you verbally if I didn't need to keep mum about this.
You deserve to lose L if you seriously feel you are right and that she outta trust you.
Geram aku.
